Rainbows

Thought to be the result of light reflecting off of droplets of moisture in the Earth’s atmosphere, rainbows, in fact, are not hing of the sort.
 
The first rainbow was recorded in 1952, May 21st, to be exact. It is no coincidence that this is also the day that Mr. T was born. You see, as [...]

Tattoos on the Lower Back

Known to the Germans as “Ass Antlers,” to Americans as ”Tramp Stamps,” and “Signs of overripe kiwis,” to New Zelanders, a tattoo on the lower back did not always mean what they do today.
You see Pocahontas, that beacon of female strength, had a tattoo on her lower back. Pocahontas got the tat as a sign of her fidelity to John [...]

Afternoon Naps

The deliciousness that is an afternoon nap is undisputed. Whether it be after a long night of drinking- the “I can’t bear the thought of that chick I hooked up with last night so I’m going to go to sleep” nap, because you don’t have anything else to do- the “Sunday afternoon” nap, or because [...]

Kwanzaa

Begun in 1941 by Adolf Hitler, Kwanzaa used to mark the official “We love the Jews” day. This holiday took on a different meaning in America when Mr. Rogers commented on his popular television show  “Mr. Rogers, Up in that Ass” that he loved the black man.
In fact, Rogers proceeded to go into a rant [...]

The Pink Box

No matter what form it takes, pink signifies deliciousness. No wonder everything from donuts to muffins to classy purchases from Victoria’s Secret come in pink boxes.

 
Pink signifies deliciousness because of one man. That man is God.
 
Clearly, the answer to the question “Does God love us?” is yes. He created the Pink Box. He must love [...]

Breakfast Burritos

In a little known twist on a well-known story, breakfast burritos are in fact the creation of the Gods- Zeus to be exact. Zeus was a jealous deity but all things considered, he hooked us up. He did send Pandora and her infamous box to earth in response to Prometheus stealing fire from the Gods, but [...]

The Alarm Clock

The bane of all our existences, the alarm clock is often cursed, thrown against walls, and used as an excuse (“I’m sorry I missed the final, Professor, my alarm clock didn’t go off”). However, the fact that it is used throughout the world is an indication of the alarm clock’s importance to modern man. As [...]

Water Cooler Talk

Using a landmark as a meeting place to rendezvous and discuss current events is a time honored tradition. It wasn’t until modern times, however, that this landmark became a water cooler.
The water cooler became the center of office gossip because of the infamous Lil Wayne lyric: “Oooh she wanna lick the rapper, I tell her [...]

Firemen

Consciously running into a fire to try and put it out isn’t something that most people consider a fun activity, much less a job. 
Thank God for Davy Crockett. Mr. Crockett, American patriot, pioneer, and coonskin cap wearer was the first fireman. It all went down on that fateful day when Mr. Crockett was three years [...]

The Business Card

The practice of placing such inane data as your name, phone number, and official title on a small piece of paper to give to others in a ritualistic ceremony known as networking began in the 1700’s.
It was late afternoon, and Eli “The Cotton Gin” Whitney was hard at work inventing. For Whitney, working was the [...]